Okay, I have decide to follow the advice in the book The Secret. I will imagine myself in a high paying job at a law firm and attract such a job to me.
Hopefully, this works. Just in case I am taking advice from Stuart Smiley, and sitting in front of the mirror and repeating "I'm good enough; I'm smart enough; and dog' gon' it people like me."
Feeling the energy flow...... need a summer associates position.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Underwhelming Truth
There are times in life when it all appears too shiny. Like cellophane wrapped candies that no body could possible digest. At these times, is it best to talk about it or not?
I used to say something, but all it ever gained me was trouble, for no one wants to know that which lies beyond the shiny. Today I fake it. I am all shiny, all the time. There are not even seams anymore. Hell, I am becoming a lawyer; and all lawyers do is spin things in their client's favor. While that is a great task, it admittedly does have an element of disengenuousness to it.
I tell the truth, as lies are far to hard to keep track of, but I am a chronic omitter. In fact, I advocate omitting things. I tell people all the time how no one ever needs to know all your secrets. I tell my girlfriends never to tell their "number" to anyone, much less their boyfriend. I told a friend after she told me she cheated, to just not tell anyone else, especially not her boyfriend, as it would only hurt him, which is true. Furthermore, if she does not want to leave him, what is the point? I also do not talk about my family. I told my fiance nothing about my family for three years, and only told him hours before he met them, their names.
I tell the truth, just not the whole truth unless asked a pointed question. The truth is not liberating. I would argue, that it is in fact rather constricting. The less we say about ourselves, the greater rein we give to those around us to think highly of us. If everyone knew everything about each other, there would be no one to idolize.
Often times when the pretty clothes come off there are stretch marks and cellulite, and who wants that?
I used to say something, but all it ever gained me was trouble, for no one wants to know that which lies beyond the shiny. Today I fake it. I am all shiny, all the time. There are not even seams anymore. Hell, I am becoming a lawyer; and all lawyers do is spin things in their client's favor. While that is a great task, it admittedly does have an element of disengenuousness to it.
I tell the truth, as lies are far to hard to keep track of, but I am a chronic omitter. In fact, I advocate omitting things. I tell people all the time how no one ever needs to know all your secrets. I tell my girlfriends never to tell their "number" to anyone, much less their boyfriend. I told a friend after she told me she cheated, to just not tell anyone else, especially not her boyfriend, as it would only hurt him, which is true. Furthermore, if she does not want to leave him, what is the point? I also do not talk about my family. I told my fiance nothing about my family for three years, and only told him hours before he met them, their names.
I tell the truth, just not the whole truth unless asked a pointed question. The truth is not liberating. I would argue, that it is in fact rather constricting. The less we say about ourselves, the greater rein we give to those around us to think highly of us. If everyone knew everything about each other, there would be no one to idolize.
Often times when the pretty clothes come off there are stretch marks and cellulite, and who wants that?
Friday, January 29, 2010
Thats Why God Made Mexico
Several years ago I went with my brother for one of the best vacations of my life. We sat in the sun, drank tequila and stayed at the Ritz club level. I'll never forget it. Even though I got sick at the end of the trip, I enjoyed it so much that when anyone mentions going back to Mexico I have a hard time saying no.
I am happy to say that I am heading there again, this time with law school friends. While I have nothing to run away from, I cannot wait to leave the icy Midwest, and escape my reality. No more school, no more dressing in layers, and no more responsibilities; just a lot of sun and beach. Thank you God! I am, however, just a little worried about going with people from law school given that laws students party hard and I am not a fan of the Mexican legal system. Wish us luck!
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Baby on the way!!!
My nearest and dearest is having a BABY!!! I am so excited! I am going to be an auntie! Well... not by blood but by love (cheesy I know).
I never thought that she would be the first to have kids, but I have to say that child will be incredibly lucky to have her as a mom. I cannot think of a more caring or loving person.
I AM SOOO EXCITED !!
I never thought that she would be the first to have kids, but I have to say that child will be incredibly lucky to have her as a mom. I cannot think of a more caring or loving person.
I AM SOOO EXCITED !!
Birds do it .. Bees Do it .. Even educated fleas do it . . .
Love. I have a new obsession with Millionaire Matchmaker. I love watching people go on first dates, especially when they have a ton of money to throw at them.
Worst first date ever on the show was when a guy who owned this junk business, decided to test his date by taking her on a junk pick up. Ugghh!
Best first date was when the guy flew the girl to Vegas just for dinner at a fabulous restaurant (soooo Pretty Woman).
The whole premise of the show is setting rich people up on dates with normal (although extremely attractive) people in order for them to find their b'sheirt (soulmate). Patti, is a third generation shadchen (matchmaker), who has a natural ability to say it like it is, and make romantic connections.
I just love that she is jewish and that I want to sing Fiddler of the Roof every time I watch that show. Also, my yiddish is getting much better, which is good because I am a Shiksa (non-jewish woman) marrying a jew (a non-religious jew, but a jew nonetheless).
Anyway . . . I can't think of a better way to clear my brain of law jargon than to watch two people act awkwardly while on an amazingly extravagant first date. Maybe it is the escapist in me, but it is awfully nice to get at least my mind out of the icy Midwest and on a sailboat in the Pacific.
That said, I must get back to my reading. Thank you for the break.
Worst first date ever on the show was when a guy who owned this junk business, decided to test his date by taking her on a junk pick up. Ugghh!
Best first date was when the guy flew the girl to Vegas just for dinner at a fabulous restaurant (soooo Pretty Woman).
The whole premise of the show is setting rich people up on dates with normal (although extremely attractive) people in order for them to find their b'sheirt (soulmate). Patti, is a third generation shadchen (matchmaker), who has a natural ability to say it like it is, and make romantic connections.
I just love that she is jewish and that I want to sing Fiddler of the Roof every time I watch that show. Also, my yiddish is getting much better, which is good because I am a Shiksa (non-jewish woman) marrying a jew (a non-religious jew, but a jew nonetheless).
Anyway . . . I can't think of a better way to clear my brain of law jargon than to watch two people act awkwardly while on an amazingly extravagant first date. Maybe it is the escapist in me, but it is awfully nice to get at least my mind out of the icy Midwest and on a sailboat in the Pacific.
That said, I must get back to my reading. Thank you for the break.
Handbags and Gladrags
Oh, to be stylish again. When I first came to law school a year and a half ago I had "it." That glow that comes with having nice clothes and a ton of confidence. While I still have the confidence, the handbags and gladrags are several seasons out of style and losing their color.
So what becomes of me when I am stripped of my goods? Well, a little too much self reflection (and most recently this blog). I never thought of myself as a materialistic person, but I also never said no to a shopping trip. I just never could help myself. Now, however, I have to. With no job lined up for the summer, a wedding to plan for, a trip to California for my friend's wedding and a possible trip to Las Vegas for her Bachalorette, I am in it deep. No more Bluefly even.
This is nothing short of humbling, but I guess I needed it.
P.S. Now that I am humbled, is there anyway we could restore the funds?
So what becomes of me when I am stripped of my goods? Well, a little too much self reflection (and most recently this blog). I never thought of myself as a materialistic person, but I also never said no to a shopping trip. I just never could help myself. Now, however, I have to. With no job lined up for the summer, a wedding to plan for, a trip to California for my friend's wedding and a possible trip to Las Vegas for her Bachalorette, I am in it deep. No more Bluefly even.
This is nothing short of humbling, but I guess I needed it.
P.S. Now that I am humbled, is there anyway we could restore the funds?
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Intuitions and Dreams: My Hippie Rant
Sometimes I feel like we all ignore our intuitions. We get these gut feelings and then quickly ignore them as something far more interesting comes along. These little intuitions nag at our subconscious no matter what we do, and the harder we try to ignore them the stronger they become. Unfortunately for all us who tend to evade signs, these little gut feelings which try to point towards certain truths, always tend to be right.
Malcolm Gladwell in his book Blink, provides an explanation for these "intuitions" we have. He explains that parts of our brain carryout the function of "small slicing" actions in ways that other parts don't quite comprehend, but that nevertheless send a signal of some type of information to us.
The book, is quite convincing in its assertions, however, I still believe there is more to it. Maybe this comes from my religious side, but I believe that these gut feelings have more to do with our souls than anything else. Certain actions we take seem to burden our souls, while others seem to lift them. It seems that when we make decisions that go against what is best for us our very being tells us that we have gone down the wrong path and vice versa.
The women on both sides of my family are incredibly intuitive. My mother "reads" turkish coffee grounds, and is usually dead on when it comes to predictions. Likewise, my Dad's mother, who was as Christian as Christian gets, could literally look at a person and read them. While, I do not have the abilities of my mother or grandmother, I do feel like I have a strong sense of other people and a strong sense of self. My "intuition" leads me down certain paths all the time, and I try not to ignore the signs that it sends my way. When I have vivid dreams I take them seriously and try to decipher their meaning. Now, this does not mean I go out and get dream books or anything of the sort, all it means is that I am putting in the effort to tap into my subconscious, which cannot be a bad thing (can you tell I lived in So Cal).
Bottom Line
You gotta go with your gut. For some reason we were given these little signs, and it would be an absolute pity not to use them. Not listening would be akin to having the perfect blouse on, deciding that you should go with another one because "that's what everyone else will be wearing," leaving your house, and realizing that in your effort to fit in you chose something that made you look frumpy. At that point you have to suffer through an evening, and all that can be said for your troubles is that "it was your own damn fault." In other words, trust and validate yourself and your nagging subconscious.
NOTE: This rant is not meant to encourage gambling.
Malcolm Gladwell in his book Blink, provides an explanation for these "intuitions" we have. He explains that parts of our brain carryout the function of "small slicing" actions in ways that other parts don't quite comprehend, but that nevertheless send a signal of some type of information to us.
The book, is quite convincing in its assertions, however, I still believe there is more to it. Maybe this comes from my religious side, but I believe that these gut feelings have more to do with our souls than anything else. Certain actions we take seem to burden our souls, while others seem to lift them. It seems that when we make decisions that go against what is best for us our very being tells us that we have gone down the wrong path and vice versa.
The women on both sides of my family are incredibly intuitive. My mother "reads" turkish coffee grounds, and is usually dead on when it comes to predictions. Likewise, my Dad's mother, who was as Christian as Christian gets, could literally look at a person and read them. While, I do not have the abilities of my mother or grandmother, I do feel like I have a strong sense of other people and a strong sense of self. My "intuition" leads me down certain paths all the time, and I try not to ignore the signs that it sends my way. When I have vivid dreams I take them seriously and try to decipher their meaning. Now, this does not mean I go out and get dream books or anything of the sort, all it means is that I am putting in the effort to tap into my subconscious, which cannot be a bad thing (can you tell I lived in So Cal).
Bottom Line
You gotta go with your gut. For some reason we were given these little signs, and it would be an absolute pity not to use them. Not listening would be akin to having the perfect blouse on, deciding that you should go with another one because "that's what everyone else will be wearing," leaving your house, and realizing that in your effort to fit in you chose something that made you look frumpy. At that point you have to suffer through an evening, and all that can be said for your troubles is that "it was your own damn fault." In other words, trust and validate yourself and your nagging subconscious.
NOTE: This rant is not meant to encourage gambling.
The egoist in me finally decided that it could not survive without a blog, so here I go . . .
I need a cathartic outlet to rant and rave. While I am generally a sane, polite, nice, and put-together woman, I sometimes get way too in touch with my inner crazy. For a while I had the bad habit of blogging on different websites about every restaurant I went to. Unfortunatly, I had to stop this, mainly because I can no longer really afford to eat out as I am now a heavily indebted law student. Nevertheless, the egoist in me loves to here my own voice, even if it is not aloud. Thus, here I go . . .
Recent Moments to lament:
1) Going to law school when I had a steady job (now broke & indebt with no job prospects. Love it!)
2) Leaving California for the icy Midwest (this is mitigated by the fact that I met my fiance here)
3) Deciding that I could wear high heels today even though it was icy (I have a nice bruise to show for this one)
4) Not taking full advantage of the after New Years Sales (this is mitigated by the fact that I could not honestly afford to)
5) Gaining about 5 lbs in winter weight when I am suppose to be trimming down so I can go wedding dress shopping
6) Spending an insane amount of money of books I could have gotten at the public library
7) Not having a job lined up yet for this summer even though I got good grades last year and was a teacher's assistant last semester
Recent Moments to celebrate
1) Getting engaged to a wonderful man who does not mind my eccentricities
2) Deciding where and when I am going to have my wedding
3) Going for the salad this evening instead of the Jambalaya (this was a huge struggle)
4) Buying and fixing up a loft with my Fiance (okay... so, he bought the loft and did most of the fixing, while I picked out colors and furniture)
5) Having my brother talk to me over lunch for the first time in months
6) Still fitting into a small
Bottom Line
While I am cold in the Midwest, broke, unemployed, and bruised, I am doing pretty well. I just have to keep reminding myself of that fact because this time of year it is always hard to see the sunlight in dark situations.
Recent Moments to lament:
1) Going to law school when I had a steady job (now broke & indebt with no job prospects. Love it!)
2) Leaving California for the icy Midwest (this is mitigated by the fact that I met my fiance here)
3) Deciding that I could wear high heels today even though it was icy (I have a nice bruise to show for this one)
4) Not taking full advantage of the after New Years Sales (this is mitigated by the fact that I could not honestly afford to)
5) Gaining about 5 lbs in winter weight when I am suppose to be trimming down so I can go wedding dress shopping
6) Spending an insane amount of money of books I could have gotten at the public library
7) Not having a job lined up yet for this summer even though I got good grades last year and was a teacher's assistant last semester
Recent Moments to celebrate
1) Getting engaged to a wonderful man who does not mind my eccentricities
2) Deciding where and when I am going to have my wedding
3) Going for the salad this evening instead of the Jambalaya (this was a huge struggle)
4) Buying and fixing up a loft with my Fiance (okay... so, he bought the loft and did most of the fixing, while I picked out colors and furniture)
5) Having my brother talk to me over lunch for the first time in months
6) Still fitting into a small
Bottom Line
While I am cold in the Midwest, broke, unemployed, and bruised, I am doing pretty well. I just have to keep reminding myself of that fact because this time of year it is always hard to see the sunlight in dark situations.
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