Sordid Lives

Sometimes I think back to my southern family and wonder what I would have been like had I stayed there. Would I have a baby on each hip, or would I be on the same path? Would I be a southern belle, member of a good standing sorority, graduate of Alabama University and upstanding member of my church, or would I have graduated high school and married some cute boy?

Such musings while useless, nevertheless occupy my mind when I am alone in my home in bufu Champaign IL. I always wonder how I got here. I can trace the steps, however, I am sure that I will never figure it out completely. Sometimes I am sure that there is someone up there pulling the strings, and other times I cannot imagine such a grand possibility.

Que Sera Sera . . .

This year seems like a turning point for me. Twenty-six seems so much more substantial than 25 did, and certainly more important than 24. This year I am getting married! This year I will settle into my own, and will pretty much permanently move in with my M. This year, I am officially getting old.

Looking back, I have certainly had my fun. I have partied, have traveled, have lost myself in Europe, have lived on my own, have lived on the beach and on a farm (kinda), and have definitely grown up a bit. I find that I love who I am now much more than I did when I was younger. In fact, I think I am getting better with time. I have begun to settle into my own skin and enjoy it. I have learned how golden silence is, how precious happy moments are, and how lucky I am to have experienced all that I have.

To my crazy single party days I am saying goodbye. I am saying hello to a loving kind man who knows me inside and out. I am saying hello to my new family consisting of M, myself, and our cat and dog. I am saying hello to nights in the Chi with my M, and our long and happy future together. I am saying hello 26! While I don't know exactly what you will hold, I am ready for ya.